Click here if you lost your password


Where you’ll be able to post questions, find answers, and contribute articles on Asperger’s symptoms, signs, and anything new of interest to our members.

To access the forum, simply click the ‘register’ button, and we’ll send you the login details. Once you’re logged in, you’ll be able to create a new topic on Asperger’s syndrome, or respond to existing topics posted by our other members.

Because this is a supportive environmentmade up of Asperger’s therapists, patients, and others, we ask that you don’t post anything that’s likely to offend or upset. Any posts believed to have violated our community rules will be deleted, and your access will be revoked.

We thank you for your continued support, and hope you find the discussions here enlightening and supportive!

Why won’t anybody marry this chivalrous Christian guy? – Ladies please help! topic

  • Author
  • #11562


    Dear friends on the autism spectrum,

    Anybody can read this post of mine, but please would the ladies in particular have a go at helping me with this, please? It would be much appreciated, thanks.

    I do need a lot of help with my fixation on marrying a lady, but my financial situation isn’t very good at all.  I’m in the throes of immigrating from South Africa to America which is filthy expensive in itself, not to mention buying basic necessities during our COVID-19 lock-down, in spite of the fact that I am planning to get US Medical Insurance for myself, but I don’t think that will be anytime soon. My medical aid in South Africa is being stretched as it is.  I have no more money to pay therapists for the issues you’re about to read about:

    I tend to “throw” myself at ladies (a rather strong word but it’s the unfortunate truth), trying to convince them that they’re missing out on the best husband they’ll ever have. But I seem to have scared them all away because I didn’t behave “normally”. Some ladies have been the exception and have displayed an overwhelming amount of enthusiasm to pursue marriage with me. So then, I’ve reciprocated from here to there and back again, smothering them with love, money and attention to try and make sure they wouldn’t even dream of dumping me. (That said, I don’t believe in buying a lady’s love with money, but only to spoil them a bit and improve their lives accordingly). But then it emerges that they’ve got mental problems like pathological lying and bipolar that got mixed with my high-functioning autism! And then, if I don’t dump THEM before it’s too late, my friends and family have to do it for me!

    I’m a 44-year-old guy with high-functioning autism who’s IRREVERSIBLY fixated on achieving a happy, successful marriage and I’ve been emotionally (and sexually) scarred, battered and traumatized having been in hundreds of broken relationships, and I don’t believe I’ve caused the break-ups.  I’m in South Africa under the COVID-19 lock-down and I’m so lonely with no lady to Skype every day!

    As part of a very big plan to try and get help to fit into society better, make friends and girlfriends normally and progress to a successful marriage, I’d appreciate somebody who is sufficiently qualified to Skype me regularly, and pick up when I’m saying or doing something that is causing me to chase all the girls away.  I need help with the following, please:

    1) I want to be able to progress normally and at a slow enough pace from a platonic friendship to a happy, lifelong marriage.
    2) The right way to go about making lady friends.
    3) How to attract them and where to looking for my wife.
    4) I’ve been told thousands of times that I rush into relationships.

    Would this be possible, please?  I did purchase the book “Living With An Asperger’s Partner” by Mark Hutten. I’ve posted a second topic giving full details on a lady I had a video chat with not so long ago. I was sending regular, friendly e-mails to her and then she just stopped replying. I still don’t know why!

    Thank you.

    Dear fellow Aspies,

    I’m quite convinced you’re all going to identify with an experience I had. First off, I’m a 44-year-old guy with high-functioning autism / Asperger’s Syndrome and am dreadfully fixated on finding a happy, lifelong marriage. I know I shouldn’t be fixated! I met a lady (I’ll protect her identity) through a Speech Pathologist who put us in contact with each other, since we’d both signed up for a non-committing, single session on Zoom. We had just one video chat on Zoom, and I learnt she liked electronic music like me, so she had me “firing on all cylinders” to find more common ground with her. Preparing for something long-term / marriage, I started doing everything that (I thought) was conducive to her loving me more every day (beginning with “friending” her on FB); never to dump me. I even started advertising the charity she worked for, to rake the donations in, and she thanked me heartily. Since the day of our video chat, she reciprocated with me for about 5 days but after that, she didn’t reply to any e-mails I sent! I became very depressed and sulky, and felt like a social reject. Ladies have been dumping me for years, but what have I done to deserve it?

    I know it was a non-committing video chat we signed up for. But the comaraderie, common ground and clowning-around that went on between us motivated me to ask her if she’d like to continue with the e-mails and video chats. I’m sure I heard “yes!” Deep down, you can take my word for it that I’m a super-fantastic guy who is a really chivalrous knight-in-shining-armor who will always treat any lady like a Queen. So why did she stop contacting me, even after she said it was nice to meet me the other day? WHY? Ladies, please help me answer that question!

    If possible, please, I would like to have daily Skype sessions with a lady who’d be able to ascertain what I’m doing wrong. Whether or not that lady would like to get to know me better to pursue marriage with me is another matter. If it happens, wonderful! But the last thing I want to do is scare all the ladies off. I need help – please!

    I’m in South Africa at the moment, so my time zone would be GMT+2, and my Skype ID is: roymnel. Please e-mail me to set up a time and date for a Skype session.

    Thanks everyone.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.